Time Capsules and Expectations
When I was 12 years old, I made a time capsule for myself. I don’t remember what led me to make it, but I do remember thinking it was a fantastic idea. So I grabbed a shoebox, decorated it, and started adding items to the box. Some of these items included: pictures of my friends, notes from various people, a weird pair of glasses, and an old camera (with no film - just the camera. Perhaps I subconsciously knew that 35mm film cameras were going to become obsolete?).
Next, I sat down and wrote a letter to my “future self.” In that letter, I told myself the things I enjoyed doing as a 12-year-old. I talked about my friends. Then I told my “future self” what I hoped I would be doing, what I hoped I would be - what my goals and dreams were. Once it was finished, I folded it up, sealed it in an envelope, and wrote on the outside -
“Do NOT open until you are 23 years old!!!”
Why I chose 23 and not, say 53, I don’t know. Probably because I didn’t want to wait that long to open it again. (I’m a little lacking in the patience department sometimes…)
The years went by, and I kept that box tucked away in the back of my closet. There were a few times when I was tempted to open it, but I resisted.
Finally, the day came. I was 23 and “allowed” to open it. With great anticipation I lifted the lid to the box to see what treasures I would find. It had been long enough I no longer remembered what I had put in the box.
Most of the items were of no value to me anymore. The pictures brought back such nice memories, but I hadn’t really kept in touch with those friends. The notes brought smiles to my face, but that’s about it.
After looking through all the sundry items in the box, it was time to read the letter to “Future Emily.” I excitedly ripped it open, unfolded the paper, and began to read. I just knew that I was going to be blown away at how awesome this letter was going to be.
Much of the letter was just silly 12-year-old nonsense. Things that were important to me at that time I hadn’t even thought about in forever. Friends I talked about had moved on in their lives, as had I. The goals I had hoped to accomplish by 23 were not completed. My dreams at 12 were no longer on my radar.
Overall, I felt huge disappointment. I had thought about this moment of opening my “time capsule” for over 10 years. I had built it up so much in my mind that it was going to be the most fantastic thing to ever happen to me. I thought I was such a smart 12-year-old to think of doing such a thing.
I had placed unreasonably high expectations on this, only to be extremely let down.
Have you ever been there? Have you ever built something up in your mind, only to find that it didn’t bring you the joy, fulfillment, or happiness you were expecting?
I think it’s safe to say that we all have had that happen at least ONCE in our lives. And the disappointment is hard to take.
Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”
When our expectations are unmet, we can feel sad, discontent, and unhappy. When we just KNEW that relationship, that large bank account, that house, that job, that event, that dress size etc. was what was going to make us deliriously happy, and yet, we get there and find we are left with disappointment.
So what do we do with this? What do we do with unmet expectations?
The answer is simple, but it isn’t always easy.
The key to dealing with our unmet expectations is to realize that placing our hopes and dreams in those things will never completely fulfill us. No job, no house, no bank account, no relationship can ever begin ultimate happiness. We may set such high expectations on these things that when it comes time to “open the box,” we are left wanting more. Because no person, place, thing, or event is perfect.
Except the Lord.
Psalm 62:5 says, “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is in him.”
Our hope needs to be in the Lord and the Lord alone. Only God - who is the great I AM and the Creator of the universe - is able to fill every single void we will ever have. It is IMPOSSIBLE to set our expectations too high for God because he is INFINITE, IMMEASURABLE, and unable to fail.
It’s kind of silly - placing such high expectations in my homemade shoebox time capsule. But it is a good way to illustrate how let down we can be when we put high expectations in anything but the Lord.
So when when you start to focus on certain expectations of something, remind yourself of this: God is the one in whom we can always put our hope.
Take all your dreams, goals, and desires and run them through the filter of God’s Word. A good place to start is Philippians 4:8. This will help you to not make unrealistic expectations.