It’s Not Him, It’s You

The story is told about a newly married couple, whose favorite pastime was to go for a drive in their truck in the evenings.  The husband would get in the driver’s seat and the wife would sit in the middle of the bench seat, sitting as close to her man as she could.  They took this evening drive nearly every day.

A few years went by, and they kept up the routine of the drive, perhaps more out of habit than anything else.  But as time went by, the wife slowly stopped sliding over to sit in the middle of the seat next to her husband.  Instead, she would just climb in and sit in the passenger seat.

One evening on their drive, she looked over at her husband and said, “We have been married for a few years now.  And I love you so much, but lately I feel so distant from you.  I feel like we aren’t connecting like we used to, like we aren’t as close as we used to be.  I mean, we used to sit so close together when we would go on these drives, but now you are over there and I am way over here. What happened?”

The husband sat quietly for a minute with his eyes on the road, then glanced over at his wife and said, “Sweetheart, I haven’t moved.  I’m still sitting in the same place I always have.”

Now, while the story above is referring to a marriage relationship, this post is not about marriage. However, I want to use this simple made-up story (that I once heard from a pastor during a sermon) to illustrate what sometimes happens to all of us in our relationship with God. 

Think back to when you were first saved.  Weren’t you so excited?  Now think about other times when you were on what we call a “spiritual high” - maybe after a week of revival meetings, or after a mission trip or a week at camp.  Remember how on fire you were for the Lord - how ready you were to take on the world for Christ. You felt as close to God as ever.

And now think about the low times - when trials had come.  The times when you felt defeated.  Times where you felt that God had turned His back on you, like He had forgotten all about you.  Think about the times that it felt like God was as far away as Pluto from you.  (And its okay to admit that you have felt that - because we ALL have.  Even King David - the “man after God’s own heart” felt that way.  Just read the Psalms to know this.  Start with Psalm 10, 13, and 22.)

So what happened between those high times and those low times?  Where does God go in those times when we feel He is far away, where we think He has forgotten about us, when He feels so distant and that our relationship with Him is just not what it used to be.

Think back to our story at the beginning.  It wasn’t the husband who made the actual move away, it was the wife who stopped sliding over to sit by her husband.  And it’s the same with us and God.

In those times when we feel like God has left us, He is not the one who slid away - it is us.  When we feel like there is no communication between us and God, He is not the one who has closed His ears or stopped speaking or listening.  It is us.

God promised us in Hebrews 13:5b, “…for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

Just as the husband was still in the driver’s seat, just as he is not the one who moved away, God is not the one who moves from us.  We are the ones who wander.  We are the ones who get sidetracked and move away.  And then, when things go awry, when life gets really hard, we cry out to God, “Where are you?  Have you forgotten about me?”  Believe me, I have been there. I have literally been lying in a hospital bed, staring at the ceiling, saying out loud, “God, where are you!?!”

So what do we do when we are in those low times?  Look in the Psalms that I mentioned before.  In those times when King David felt abandoned by God, he expresses how he feels, then he stops and reminds himself of who God is.  

Psalm 10 starts out feeling like God is hiding, but in verse 14, 17, and 18 says that God does see and hear our trouble.  

Psalm 13 starts feeling forgotten but in verse 5 remembers God’s steadfast love and moves into praising the Lord.

Psalm 22 starts out feeling forsaken, but quickly moves to remember God is holy and our deliverer in verses 3 and 4.  And by the end of the Psalm he is praising the Lord again.

And if you continue to read the Psalms, you will find this time and time again.  The author feeling alone and forgotten, then reminding himself of who God is and turning to praise Him.

In those moments when we are tempted to claim that God has left us, we need to remind ourselves that He has promised to never do so. 

In those moments that we feel so alone and forgotten, we need to remind ourselves that God is always right there, ready to help us through whatever situation we are in.  Notice I didn't say take away our situation.  He never promised that our life would be free from trouble or heartache.  In fact, He told us there would be hardship in our life (John 16:33)  But He did promise to help us through those hardships, and that those hardships are for His glory and our good (Romans 8:28)

So if you currently find yourself in a low time where you think God has forgotten you, remind yourself that He is still there.  He is not the one who moved away.  The solution for the wife in our story was to simply slide back over on the bench so she can be right next to her husband and feel close again.  And the solution for us is to slide back over to God by digging back into His Word and remind ourselves of who He is and what He has promised.