When the Miracle Doesn’t Come
“Have you been prayed over by the church leaders?” “Have you fasted and prayed?” “Have you tried ‘x’ supplements/vitamins/shake/drink?” “Have you gotten a second opinion?” “Do you know ‘so-and-so’? They have a 2nd cousin who used to be in a wheelchair and they did ‘x’ therapy and now they can walk with no problems.” “Have you heard about the ‘x’ diet?”
I understand that when these types of things are said to me, people are not meaning to be rude. Many are trying to help me think of something that might get me out of my wheelchair.
I get it. It is very hard for us to come to terms with the fact that we may not get the miracle that we have prayed so hard for. We have a Bible full of incredible and exciting accounts of seas parting, food coming daily from the sky, blind being made to see, water turning to wine, the dead coming alive again, and the lame beginning to walk.
So when tragedy, illness, disease, cancer, infertility, or the possibility of death come knocking at our door, we cling to the truth that “nothing is too hard for the Lord.” We run to verses about faith, hope, trust, and how God works everything together for good. We get on our knees, pouring our hearts out to the Lord, telling Him our fears. We beg Him for deliverance. We believe with everything in us that God has heard our prayers and eagerly wait with bated breath for our miracle to come.
But then, the illness becomes chronic, the disease worsens, the cancer grows, the baby never comes, and death makes its visit. We rattle our brains, and cry out, “I don’t understand! I believed! I trusted! I prayed and asked!” We sit there completely confused. We look back on story after story, not only in the Bible but also in our modern times, of other people who got their miracle - sometimes the exact one we are praying for ourselves.
I’ve have a miracle for myself that I’ve prayed for. For many months I prayed fervently for physical healing. I spent many a night lying in my bed, crying out for God to bring strength back to my legs. I pleaded with Him about how I have 4 young children who need a healthy mom! I read the accounts in the Bible where Jesus healed the lame. I had many people praying on my behalf.
Then one day, in March 2018, I took my last step. Shortly after that I was told I would not walk again. What!?! I was praying for a miracle. This was the exact opposite of that. My miracle did not come.
At least that’s what I first thought.
You see, I was looking for a huge, mind-blowing miracle - one that went exactly as I thought it should. And even though that didn’t happen, and the years since have been a rollercoaster of emotions, my faith and realization of how God works have grown exponentially.
Yes, the Bible is full of stories of miracles. But it is also full of times when God worked in a different way than people planned. People like Joseph, Moses, Esther, Job, and David. People like Paul, who asked God three times to remove the “thorn in his flesh,” yet God chose to leave it. Even Jesus himself prayed the night before He died to have “this cup pass from me.” But his very next phrase was “nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done.” (Luke 22:42)
And there is the key.
Of course we can pray for healing and deliverance from our trial. Of course we can seek second opinions and try everything in our power to help the situation. We can believe with all of our hearts that God will answer. But the base of all that, the foundation of our faith, must rest on those words that are the hardest thing to say - “not my will, but thine be done.”
Our faith has to lie in the fact that we trust God - no matter what the answer, even if it is not what we want.
Right after Paul tells us he asked the Lord 3 times to remove his trial, he turns right around and says that he will glory in his weakness, because it is through his weakness that Christ’s strength is shown (2 Corinthians 12:9).
You know, I think I did get my miracle after all.
I believe my miracle is the strength that God gives me every single day to get up and face the day, even though things are hard. My miracle is that I can still be the best mom I can be to my children, even though that looks different than it used to. My miracle is the to surrender my will to the Lord, making room for Him to use my weakness as a testament of His power and ability to sustain me through prolonged difficulty and disappointment.
The same can be true for you in your own trial or tragedy. God’s miracle for you might be the ability to continue on, with joy in the suffering; knowing that God is working, and it is through your weakness that He is showing His strength.
Perhaps someday we will get the “big miracle” that we each pray for. But until then, we can “glory in our infirmities” and bask in seeing God’s power on a daily basis.
“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9