If Only Someone Understood

I sat in the room, looking around at the 50 or so people around me.  Everyone was clustered in small groups and chatting about all kinds of things. Occasional bouts of laughter broke out as someone said something funny.  I glanced around at the pretty Christmas decorations - the white lights and green garland looking so festive.  Familiar voices like Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra singing beautiful Christmas carols played in the background.  The setting was very happy and festive.

I noticed how nice everyone was dressed - in their semi-formal attire.  Most of the women were wearing cute shoes and nice outfits - you could tell they put thought into how they were dressed.  And suddenly, I began to feel very very alone.

You see, out of all the people there, I was the only one in a wheelchair.  And there I sat, watching everyone walk around wherever they wanted without having to see if they could fit in between the tables, or to make sure they wouldn’t run into anyone or over anyone’s feet. I looked at their shoes and clothes, and thought how they probably didn’t have to think about if the shoes would stay on their feet as they got into their car, or how their clothes needed to be easy to put on or if they would be comfortable while sitting all the time.  I thought how they probably didn’t need help getting those cute clothes on - they could easily dress themselves.

I sat and watched, pasting a smile on my face and chatting with those who did come up and talk with me.  But the whole time, I was fighting back tears.  I felt so alone and wished there was someone there who understood.  

Sounds silly, right - being in a crowded room surrounded by people, yet feeling completely set apart and lonely?  No, it doesn’t sound silly.  Not to you.  Because you know - you have felt that exact same thing. There is something in your life where you find yourself just wishing that someone would understand how you are feeling, wishing they would look at you and nod their head, indicating that they, too, know the deep hurt and loneliness that you are experiencing in your heart.

For you, it may not be the fact that you are in a wheelchair.  But it may be another physical issue - maybe one that isn’t readily seen or apparent to those around you.  It may be the hurt of having lost a loved one to death.  It may be the recent loss of a job.  It may be the agony of having found your spouse was unfaithful.  It may be the friend that you thought you could depend on now completely rejecting you.

Whatever it is, you feel it deeply, and no matter how many people are around you, you feel like no one understands - no one “gets it.”  You feel like you are the only one who is experiencing this heartache and pain.

Oh my dear friend!  As I stated above, I know that feeling!  I know how alone you can feel!  But let me share with you a very important truth:  You are NOT alone!  There is Someone who understands!  

Each December we celebrate Christmas, where we remember that Jesus came to this earth as a babe. He became fully human - and in doing so experienced all the emotions that we go through. His entire ministry was filled with criticism, rejection, betrayal, and feelings of loneliness. He KNOWS!  He UNDERSTANDS!!  You can cling to that knowledge and go to Him for comfort and peace.  And the great thing about God is that HE IS ALWAYS WITH YOU!!!  So you can cry out to Him whenever and wherever you are and He will be there to listen and help! 

How amazing is it to know that Jesus, one part of the Trinity, has felt the exact same emotions we have!

“Okay Emily.” You may now be saying.  “I get that Jesus knows.  But sometimes it’s nice to have a physical person to look you in the face and tell you that you aren’t alone.  Someone to sit next to you and audibly say, “I understand.”

Yes, I get that feeling too.  And I don’t believe there is anything wrong with that. God’s plan was for us to come along side each other in empathy and support.  After all, he commanded us in Galatians 6:2, “Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”

I can confidently say, that, even though you are thinking no one understands, there are many people out there who do, many who are feeling your exact same hurt and heartbreak.  And they, like you, are feeling alone as well.

“But I don’t know anyone whose been through exactly what I have been through!  So how can they know?”

My health struggles have been a life-long thing for me.  And I have never meet anyone with the exact same issues I have that that led up to me being in a wheelchair.  When I was younger and had to wear a back brace for 12 years, I desperately wanted to meet someone my age who had to wear the same thing like I did.  But I never did meet anyone.

Now that I am older, I realize that it isn’t the actual circumstance that I needed someone to say, “I know that feeling.”  It’s the emotions of the suffering. And I have now found if I opened up and shared with others the things that I was struggling with, describing the emotions I was having, I found that they would say, “That’s exactly how I feel!”  

I have several friends whose heartbreaking circumstances are completely different than what I have gone through, yet when we sit and talk, we find much of our emotional struggle is the same.  And you know what?  That alone feeling?  It lessens.  I find my heart a little lighter, knowing that someone else has thought the same things, felt the same emotions, cried the same tears.

And the same can be for you!  I truly believe that the feelings of isolation are of the Enemy.  If Satan can get us feeling like we are the only ones who have ever felt this way, then he can start whispering lies to us that we will believe - lies that cause us to doubt God and His Word..

So today, I want to challenge you.  If you are feeling alone, if you find that you are sitting in a crowded room with a smile pasted on your face yet holding back tears because you think no one understands, remind yourself that you are NOT alone!  Grab your Bible and read about the life of Jesus, and see how he experienced the same emotions we do. Jesus is very familiar with all the pain of your heart. 

But I also encourage you to not suffer in silence.  Reaching out to someone and admitting that you have these feelings does not make you weak.  It is not heroic to always pretend you are okay when you are most definitely not okay!  Tell someone.  Share with them how you feel alone.  Share with them your hurt.  Admit that you don’t have it all together.  

I think you might be surprised at how others will come to you and say, “I am feeling the exact same thing.  Thank you for being open about your struggle.  I thought I was all alone.”